instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Venusian ambassador, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The local tax office is a front for the evil works of the Venusian ambassador. It's part of a national chain of illegal racketeering outlets, whose final aim is to destroy the economic centres of the world. They've already claimed victims - everyone from Monica Lewinsky to Richard Tomlinson have been caught out. Only Robocop has seen through the scam, which is why the Illuminati Organisation, in cahoots with the Venusian ambassador, is trying to enslave the Human Race with a view to putting an end to Robocop. "

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