instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from Charlton Heston, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "A rogue A.I. is stealing people so that it can create a race of slaves by putting them into a computer simulation where they have to track Marilyn Manson to a secret base near Area 51. The mental power thus produced by the captive thinkers allows Charlton Heston, in league with the AI, to compromise Col. Ghadaffi allowing Charlton Heston to enslave the Human Race. "

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