instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Venusian envoy, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The local supermarket is a front for the evil works of the Venusian envoy. It's part of a national chain of illegal racketeering outlets, whose final aim is to create a race of slaves. They've already claimed victims - everyone from Marilyn Manson to Dan Quayle have been caught out. Only the Spice Girls has seen through the scam, which is why the KGB, in cahoots with the Venusian envoy, is trying to bring world civilisation to its knees with a view to putting an end to the Spice Girls. "

< go back