instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Branch Davidian Sect, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Isn't it obvious that Monica Lewinsky has been killed by the Branch Davidian Sect and replaced by an agent of the Martian envoy who has undergone extensive plastic surgery? Clearly the Branch Davidian Sect is planning to create a race of robot overlords when the agent of the Martian envoy assassinates Dan Quayle. The only solution is for George Bush to stop the Branch Davidian Sect and the Martian envoy, which is impossible unless NATO will pass a resolution to allow the public to own main battle tanks. "

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