instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Venusian envoy, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Isn't it obvious that Salman Rushdie has been killed by the Venusian envoy and replaced by an agent of the Branch Davidian Sect who has undergone extensive plastic surgery? Clearly the Venusian envoy is planning to fake a misson to Mars when the agent of the Branch Davidian Sect assassinates Ian Paisley. The only solution is for the SAS to stop the Venusian envoy and the Branch Davidian Sect, which is impossible unless NATO will pass a resolution to allow the public to own main battle tanks. "

< go back