instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from Slobodan Milosevic, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The FBI informant in my basement is telling me that Slobodan Milosevic is attempting to prevent the return of the Messiah while Ian Paisley is being persecuted by the Martian commander-in-chief to draw attention away from the vile plans of Slobodan Milosevic. "

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