instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Illuminati Organisation, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Why can't anyone see that Monica Lewinsky is being watched by the Illuminati Organisation? It's all so that the Venusian commander-in-chief, hidden in a secret HQ near the Sargasso Sea can subvert the justice system for evil purposes. After that, the Illuminati Organisation will bring world civilisation to its knees when the disorder caused by the Venusian commander-in-chief reaches a peak. The only thing we can do is let Leonardo DiCaprio put together a militia to stop them. "

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