instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the British Royal Family, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The UFO sitings over Roswell are actually mass hallucinations engineered by the British Royal Family to make Dan Quayle and other enemies of the Venusian commander-in-chief think they are not alone. In the ensuing paranoia, the British Royal Family and the Venusian commander-in-chief plan to destroy population centres of the world. If you see UFOs, close your eyes - it's all a trick. Meanwhile, a special task force led by George Bush is being set up to tackle the problem. "

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