instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Martian envoy, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Why can't anyone see that the Pope is being watched by the Martian envoy? It's all so that the Venusian envoy, hidden in a secret HQ near the Alps can subvert the justice system for evil purposes. After that, the Martian envoy will bring us all under the sway of a despotic ruler when the disorder caused by the Venusian envoy reaches a peak. The only thing we can do is let our Venusian protectors put together a militia to stop them. "

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