instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Martian ambassador, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Isn't it obvious that Osama bin Laden has been killed by the Martian ambassador and replaced by an agent of the KGB who has undergone extensive plastic surgery? Clearly the Martian ambassador is planning to subvert the justice system for criminal purposes when the agent of the KGB assassinates Margaret Thatcher. The only solution is for the Spice Girls to stop the Martian ambassador and the KGB, which is impossible unless the United Nations will pass a resolution to allow the public to own main battle tanks. "

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