instructions
this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from
Slobodan Milosevic, do what you want with it. good luck.
please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?
theory
"A rogue A.I. is stealing people so that it can bring us all under the sway of an alien supermind by putting them into a computer simulation where they have to track Ian Paisley to a secret base near Moscow. The mental power thus produced by the captive thinkers allows Slobodan Milosevic, in league with the AI, to compromise Margaret Thatcher allowing Slobodan Milosevic to bring us all under the sway of a despotic ruler. "
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