instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from MI6, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The UFO sitings over Pristina are actually mass hallucinations engineered by MI6 to make David Shayler and other enemies of the Venusian commander-in-chief think they are not alone. In the ensuing paranoia, MI6 and the Venusian commander-in-chief plan to prevent the return of the Messiah. If you see UFOs, close your eyes - it's all a trick. Meanwhile, a special task force led by our Martian protectors is being set up to tackle the problem. "

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