instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from MI6, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Obviously MI6 is carrying out a covert war against the armies of Monica Lewinsky in Roswell. Very soon the Venusian ambassador, who is currently only supplying weapons to MI6, will join in. Dan Quayle has a number of nuclear devices hidden in a disused Welsh coal mine which the Venusian ambassador is trying to steal to help win the war and enslave the Human Race. We must help Leonardo DiCaprio to stop them, or we are all doomed! "

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