instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the CIA, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Obviously the CIA is carrying out a covert war against the armies of David Shayler in the Alps. Very soon the Martian commander-in-chief, who is currently only supplying weapons to the CIA, will join in. Richard Tomlinson has a number of nuclear devices hidden in the Everglades which the Martian commander-in-chief is trying to steal to help win the war and establish a global oil cartel. We must help Robocop to stop them, or we are all doomed! "

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