instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Martian commander-in-chief, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Obviously the Martian commander-in-chief is carrying out a covert war against the armies of Richard Tomlinson in Roswell. Very soon Tony Blair, who is currently only supplying weapons to the Martian commander-in-chief, will join in. the Pope has a number of nuclear devices hidden in Saigon which Tony Blair is trying to steal to help win the war and bring world civilisation to an end. We must help the Vietnam Veterans Association to stop them, or we are all doomed! "

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