instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from Tony Blair, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Obviously Tony Blair is carrying out a covert war against the armies of Ian Paisley in Saigon. Very soon the Venusian commander-in-chief, who is currently only supplying weapons to Tony Blair, will join in. Salman Rushdie has a number of nuclear devices hidden in the Sargasso Sea which the Venusian commander-in-chief is trying to steal to help win the war and bring world civilisation to its knees. We must help Steven Spielberg to stop them, or we are all doomed! "

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