instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Martian envoy, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The local tax office is a front for the evil works of the Martian envoy. It's part of a national chain of illegal racketeering outlets, whose final aim is to bring about Armageddon. They've already claimed victims - everyone from Monica Lewinsky to the Queen have been caught out. Only our Venusian protectors has seen through the scam, which is why the Branch Davidian Sect, in cahoots with the Martian envoy, is trying to destroy the economic centres of the world with a view to putting an end to our Venusian protectors. "

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