instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from MI5, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Isn't it obvious that Boris Yeltsin has been killed by MI5 and replaced by an agent of the Martian commander-in-chief who has undergone extensive plastic surgery? Clearly MI5 is planning to hide the evidence of CIA mind experiments when the agent of the Martian commander-in-chief assassinates Ronald Regan. The only solution is for George Bush to stop MI5 and the Martian commander-in-chief, which is impossible unless NATO will pass a resolution to allow the public to own biological weapons. "

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