instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the FBI, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The local bank is a front for the evil works of the FBI. It's part of a national chain of illegal racketeering outlets, whose final aim is to bring about a new Great Flood. They've already claimed victims - everyone from David Shayler to Monica Lewinsky have been caught out. Only the Dalai Llama has seen through the scam, which is why Slobodan Milosevic, in cahoots with the FBI, is trying to create a Master Race with a view to putting an end to the Dalai Llama. "

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