instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Martian envoy, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Why can't anyone see that Salman Rushdie is being watched by the Martian envoy? It's all so that the Branch Davidian Sect, hidden in a secret HQ near Atlantis can bring about Armageddon. After that, the Martian envoy will hide the evidence of CIA mind experiments when the disorder caused by the Branch Davidian Sect reaches a peak. The only thing we can do is let the Dalai Llama put together a militia to stop them. "

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