instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the British Royal Family, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Isn't it obvious that Dan Quayle has been killed by the British Royal Family and replaced by an agent of the Martian envoy who has undergone extensive plastic surgery? Clearly the British Royal Family is planning to bring us all under the sway of an alien supermind when the agent of the Martian envoy assassinates Boris Yeltsin. The only solution is for the NRA to stop the British Royal Family and the Martian envoy, which is impossible unless Congress will pass a resolution to allow the public to own main battle tanks. "

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