instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from Tony Blair, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The UFO sitings over the Rockies are actually mass hallucinations engineered by Tony Blair to make Ian Paisley and other enemies of the Martian ambassador think they are not alone. In the ensuing paranoia, Tony Blair and the Martian ambassador plan to prevent the return of the Messiah. If you see UFOs, close your eyes - it's all a trick. Meanwhile, a special task force led by the monks of Shangri-La is being set up to tackle the problem. "

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