instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Martian envoy, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Why can't anyone see that William Hague is being mind conrolled by the Martian envoy? It's all so that the Venusian commander-in-chief, hidden in a secret HQ near the Everglades can hide the evidence of alien visitations. After that, the Martian envoy will bring about Armageddon when the disorder caused by the Venusian commander-in-chief reaches a peak. The only thing we can do is let Steven Spielberg put together a militia to stop them. "

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