instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the British Royal Family, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Isn't it obvious that the Pope has been killed by the British Royal Family and replaced by an agent of Charlton Heston who has undergone extensive plastic surgery? Clearly the British Royal Family is planning to subvert the justice system for criminal purposes when the agent of Charlton Heston assassinates Salman Rushdie. The only solution is for Leonardo DiCaprio to stop the British Royal Family and Charlton Heston, which is impossible unless NATO will pass a resolution to allow the public to own biological weapons. "

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