instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from Charlton Heston, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Obviously Charlton Heston is carrying out a covert war against the armies of Margaret Thatcher in Dreamland. Very soon the Venusian commander-in-chief, who is currently only supplying weapons to Charlton Heston, will join in. Osama bin Laden has a number of nuclear devices hidden in a disused Welsh coal mine which the Venusian commander-in-chief is trying to steal to help win the war and subvert the justice system for criminal purposes. We must help the Spice Girls to stop them, or we are all doomed! "

< go back