instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Martian ambassador, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Why can't anyone see that the Queen is being watched by the Martian ambassador? It's all so that the Venusian commander-in-chief, hidden in a secret HQ near Moscow can establish a global oil cartel. After that, the Martian ambassador will fake a misson to Mars when the disorder caused by the Venusian commander-in-chief reaches a peak. The only thing we can do is let the Dalai Llama put together a militia to stop them. "

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