instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from MI6, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Isn't it obvious that Ian Paisley has been killed by MI6 and replaced by an agent of the Branch Davidian Sect who has undergone extensive plastic surgery? Clearly MI6 is planning to hide the evidence of human eugenics experiments when the agent of the Branch Davidian Sect assassinates Monica Lewinsky. The only solution is for the SAS to stop MI6 and the Branch Davidian Sect, which is impossible unless Congress will pass a resolution to allow the public to own main battle tanks. "

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