instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from Bill Clinton, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The UFO sitings over London are actually mass hallucinations engineered by Bill Clinton to make Dan Quayle and other enemies of the Martian ambassador think they are not alone. In the ensuing paranoia, Bill Clinton and the Martian ambassador plan to hide the evidence of CIA mind experiments. If you see UFOs, close your eyes - it's all a trick. Meanwhile, a special task force led by the Dalai Llama is being set up to tackle the problem. "

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