instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the CIA, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Obviously the CIA is carrying out a covert war against the armies of the Queen in the Rockies. Very soon the Martian ambassador, who is currently only supplying weapons to the CIA, will join in. David Shayler has a number of nuclear devices hidden in Pristina which the Martian ambassador is trying to steal to help win the war and destroy population centres of the world. We must help Leonardo DiCaprio to stop them, or we are all doomed! "

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