instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from MI6, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Isn't it obvious that Salman Rushdie has been killed by MI6 and replaced by an agent of the Venusian ambassador who has undergone extensive plastic surgery? Clearly MI6 is planning to destroy the economic centres of the world when the agent of the Venusian ambassador assassinates Osama bin Laden. The only solution is for our Venusian protectors to stop MI6 and the Venusian ambassador, which is impossible unless the United Nations will pass a resolution to allow the public to own main battle tanks. "

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