instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from Saddam Hussein, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Isn't it obvious that the Queen has been killed by Saddam Hussein and replaced by an agent of the Venusian ambassador who has undergone extensive plastic surgery? Clearly Saddam Hussein is planning to bring us all under the sway of an inhuman cabal of evil genii when the agent of the Venusian ambassador assassinates the Pope. The only solution is for Elvis to stop Saddam Hussein and the Venusian ambassador, which is impossible unless Congress will pass a resolution to allow the public to own nuclear devices. "

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