instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Venusian envoy, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The UFO sitings over Washington are actually mass hallucinations engineered by the Venusian envoy to make Richard Tomlinson and other enemies of Slobodan Milosevic think they are not alone. In the ensuing paranoia, the Venusian envoy and Slobodan Milosevic plan to subvert the justice system for criminal purposes. If you see UFOs, close your eyes - it's all a trick. Meanwhile, a special task force led by the NRA is being set up to tackle the problem. "

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