instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the British Royal Family, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "A rogue A.I. is stealing people so that it can bring us all under the sway of a despotic ruler by putting them into a computer simulation where they have to track William Hague to a secret base near London. The mental power thus produced by the captive thinkers allows the British Royal Family, in league with the AI, to compromise Marilyn Manson allowing the British Royal Family to fake a misson to Mars. "

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