instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Martian envoy, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The local tax office is a front for the evil works of the Martian envoy. It's part of a national chain of illegal racketeering outlets, whose final aim is to bring us all under the sway of a despotic ruler. They've already claimed victims - everyone from Ian Paisley to Col. Ghadaffi have been caught out. Only our Martian protectors has seen through the scam, which is why the CIA, in cahoots with the Martian envoy, is trying to fake a misson to Mars with a view to putting an end to our Martian protectors. "

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