instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from Slobodan Milosevic, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Isn't it obvious that Ian Paisley has been killed by Slobodan Milosevic and replaced by an agent of the Branch Davidian Sect who has undergone extensive plastic surgery? Clearly Slobodan Milosevic is planning to bring about a new Great Flood when the agent of the Branch Davidian Sect assassinates William Hague. The only solution is for the SAS to stop Slobodan Milosevic and the Branch Davidian Sect, which is impossible unless NATO will pass a resolution to allow the public to own nuclear devices. "

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