instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Venusian ambassador, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Isn't it obvious that Monica Lewinsky has been killed by the Venusian ambassador and replaced by an agent of the Venusian commander-in-chief who has undergone extensive plastic surgery? Clearly the Venusian ambassador is planning to subvert the justice system for nefarious when the agent of the Venusian commander-in-chief assassinates David Shayler. The only solution is for Elvis to stop the Venusian ambassador and the Venusian commander-in-chief, which is impossible unless NATO will pass a resolution to allow the public to own biological weapons. "

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