instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Venusian commander-in-chief, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Isn't it obvious that Osama bin Laden has been killed by the Venusian commander-in-chief and replaced by an agent of Bill Clinton who has undergone extensive plastic surgery? Clearly the Venusian commander-in-chief is planning to bring about Armageddon when the agent of Bill Clinton assassinates William Hague. The only solution is for the monks of Shangri-La to stop the Venusian commander-in-chief and Bill Clinton, which is impossible unless the United Nations will pass a resolution to allow the public to own main battle tanks. "

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