instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Venusian ambassador, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "A rogue A.I. is stealing people so that it can pave the way for a world state under despotic rule by putting them into a computer simulation where they have to track Salman Rushdie to a secret base near Dreamland. The mental power thus produced by the captive thinkers allows the Venusian ambassador, in league with the AI, to compromise the Pope allowing the Venusian ambassador to bring us all under the sway of an inhuman cabal of evil genii. "

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