instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from MI5, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The local supermarket is a front for the evil works of MI5. It's part of a national chain of illegal racketeering outlets, whose final aim is to hide the evidence of human eugenics experiments. They've already claimed victims - everyone from Col. Ghadaffi to Boris Yeltsin have been caught out. Only Rambo has seen through the scam, which is why the KGB, in cahoots with MI5, is trying to pave the way for an alien invasion with a view to putting an end to Rambo. "

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