instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Martian envoy, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Isn't it obvious that Osama bin Laden has been killed by the Martian envoy and replaced by an agent of Slobodan Milosevic who has undergone extensive plastic surgery? Clearly the Martian envoy is planning to bring about a new Great Flood when the agent of Slobodan Milosevic assassinates Col. Ghadaffi. The only solution is for the monks of Shangri-La to stop the Martian envoy and Slobodan Milosevic, which is impossible unless Congress will pass a resolution to allow the public to own biological weapons. "

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