instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Branch Davidian Sect, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Why can't anyone see that William Hague is being followed by the Branch Davidian Sect? It's all so that Charlton Heston, hidden in a secret HQ near Roswell can subvert the justice system for evil purposes. After that, the Branch Davidian Sect will create a race of robot overlords when the disorder caused by Charlton Heston reaches a peak. The only thing we can do is let the Dalai Llama put together a militia to stop them. "

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