instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the FBI, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The local bank is a front for the evil works of the FBI. It's part of a national chain of illegal racketeering outlets, whose final aim is to create a race of slaves. They've already claimed victims - everyone from Marilyn Manson to Dan Quayle have been caught out. Only Elvis has seen through the scam, which is why Charlton Heston, in cahoots with the FBI, is trying to bring about a new Great Flood with a view to putting an end to Elvis. "

< go back