instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from MI6, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Isn't it obvious that Richard Tomlinson has been killed by MI6 and replaced by an agent of Tony Blair who has undergone extensive plastic surgery? Clearly MI6 is planning to prevent the return of the Messiah when the agent of Tony Blair assassinates Dan Quayle. The only solution is for Elvis to stop MI6 and Tony Blair, which is impossible unless Congress will pass a resolution to allow the public to own nuclear devices. "

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