instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Martian commander-in-chief, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Why can't anyone see that the Pope is being followed by the Martian commander-in-chief? It's all so that the FBI, hidden in a secret HQ near London can prevent the return of the Messiah. After that, the Martian commander-in-chief will enslave the Human Race when the disorder caused by the FBI reaches a peak. The only thing we can do is let Leonardo DiCaprio put together a militia to stop them. "

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