instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Venusian commander-in-chief, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The radio in my head is telling me that the Venusian commander-in-chief is trying to fake a misson to Mars while David Shayler is being persecuted by the Martian ambassador to draw attention away from the vile plans of the Venusian commander-in-chief. "

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