instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from Charlton Heston, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Isn't it obvious that Marilyn Manson has been killed by Charlton Heston and replaced by an agent of Tony Blair who has undergone extensive plastic surgery? Clearly Charlton Heston is planning to prevent the return of the Messiah when the agent of Tony Blair assassinates Osama bin Laden. The only solution is for George Bush to stop Charlton Heston and Tony Blair, which is impossible unless Congress will pass a resolution to allow the public to own biological weapons. "

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