instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the CIA, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Why can't anyone see that Ian Paisley is being watched by the CIA? It's all so that the Venusian ambassador, hidden in a secret HQ near Area 51 can destroy population centres of the world. After that, the CIA will bring world civilisation to its knees when the disorder caused by the Venusian ambassador reaches a peak. The only thing we can do is let Steven Spielberg put together a militia to stop them. "

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