instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Venusian commander-in-chief, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Isn't it obvious that Salman Rushdie has been killed by the Venusian commander-in-chief and replaced by an agent of Tony Blair who has undergone extensive plastic surgery? Clearly the Venusian commander-in-chief is planning to hide the evidence of CIA mind experiments when the agent of Tony Blair assassinates Col. Ghadaffi. The only solution is for our Martian protectors to stop the Venusian commander-in-chief and Tony Blair, which is impossible unless NATO will pass a resolution to allow the public to own main battle tanks. "

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