instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Branch Davidian Sect, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Why can't anyone see that the Pope is being watched by the Branch Davidian Sect? It's all so that Charlton Heston, hidden in a secret HQ near the Alps can bring us all under the sway of an alien supermind. After that, the Branch Davidian Sect will destroy population centres of the world when the disorder caused by Charlton Heston reaches a peak. The only thing we can do is let Steven Spielberg put together a militia to stop them. "

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