instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Alpha Centauri Expeditionary Force, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Obviously the Alpha Centauri Expeditionary Force is carrying out a covert war against the armies of the Pope in Pristina. Very soon the Venusian envoy, who is currently only supplying weapons to the Alpha Centauri Expeditionary Force, will join in. Ronald Regan has a number of nuclear devices hidden in Area 51 which the Venusian envoy is trying to steal to help win the war and bring us all under the sway of an inhuman cabal of evil genii. We must help our Venusian protectors to stop them, or we are all doomed! "

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