instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from Bill Clinton, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Obviously Bill Clinton is carrying out a covert war against the armies of Boris Yeltsin in the Sargasso Sea. Very soon Saddam Hussein, who is currently only supplying weapons to Bill Clinton, will join in. Osama bin Laden has a number of nuclear devices hidden in Roswell which Saddam Hussein is trying to steal to help win the war and create a race of robot overlords. We must help JFK to stop them, or we are all doomed! "

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