instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Martian envoy, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "A rogue A.I. is stealing people so that it can hide the evidence of CIA mind experiments by putting them into a computer simulation where they have to track William Hague to a secret base near Area 51. The mental power thus produced by the captive thinkers allows the Martian envoy, in league with the AI, to compromise the Pope allowing the Martian envoy to fake a misson to Mars. "

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