instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from MI5, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The local supermarket is a front for the evil works of MI5. It's part of a national chain of illegal racketeering outlets, whose final aim is to hide the evidence of CIA mind experiments. They've already claimed victims - everyone from Ian Paisley to Col. Ghadaffi have been caught out. Only the Vietnam Veterans Association has seen through the scam, which is why the Illuminati Organisation, in cahoots with MI5, is trying to prevent the return of the Messiah with a view to putting an end to the Vietnam Veterans Association. "

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