instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from MI5, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The local bank is a front for the evil works of MI5. It's part of a national chain of illegal racketeering outlets, whose final aim is to create a race of robot overlords. They've already claimed victims - everyone from the Queen to Monica Lewinsky have been caught out. Only the Spice Girls has seen through the scam, which is why the Venusian envoy, in cahoots with MI5, is trying to bring us all under the sway of an alien supermind with a view to putting an end to the Spice Girls. "

< go back