instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Martian commander-in-chief, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "A rogue A.I. is stealing people so that it can bring about Armageddon by putting them into a computer simulation where they have to track Margaret Thatcher to a secret base near the Alps. The mental power thus produced by the captive thinkers allows the Martian commander-in-chief, in league with the AI, to compromise Osama bin Laden allowing the Martian commander-in-chief to bring us all under the sway of a despotic ruler. "

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