instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from MI5, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The UFO sitings over the Sargasso Sea are actually mass hallucinations engineered by MI5 to make Monica Lewinsky and other enemies of the Illuminati Organisation think they are not alone. In the ensuing paranoia, MI5 and the Illuminati Organisation plan to create a race of slaves. If you see UFOs, close your eyes - it's all a trick. Meanwhile, a special task force led by JFK is being set up to tackle the problem. "

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