instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from Bill Clinton, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Obviously Bill Clinton is carrying out a covert war against the armies of Salman Rushdie in Moscow. Very soon the Illuminati Organisation, who is currently only supplying weapons to Bill Clinton, will join in. Boris Yeltsin has a number of nuclear devices hidden in the Rockies which the Illuminati Organisation is trying to steal to help win the war and hide the evidence of human eugenics experiments. We must help our Venusian protectors to stop them, or we are all doomed! "

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