instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Venusian ambassador, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The UFO sitings over Pristina are actually mass hallucinations engineered by the Venusian ambassador to make Ian Paisley and other enemies of the FBI think they are not alone. In the ensuing paranoia, the Venusian ambassador and the FBI plan to pave the way for a world state under despotic rule. If you see UFOs, close your eyes - it's all a trick. Meanwhile, a special task force led by Elvis is being set up to tackle the problem. "

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