instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the CIA, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Obviously the CIA is carrying out a covert war against the armies of Dan Quayle in the Sargasso Sea. Very soon the Martian envoy, who is currently only supplying weapons to the CIA, will join in. Col. Ghadaffi has a number of nuclear devices hidden in Washington which the Martian envoy is trying to steal to help win the war and subvert the justice system for evil purposes. We must help the Spice Girls to stop them, or we are all doomed! "

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