instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Venusian commander-in-chief, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The local supermarket is a front for the evil works of the Venusian commander-in-chief. It's part of a national chain of illegal racketeering outlets, whose final aim is to bring us all under the sway of an alien supermind. They've already claimed victims - everyone from David Shayler to the Queen have been caught out. Only JFK has seen through the scam, which is why Tony Blair, in cahoots with the Venusian commander-in-chief, is trying to create a race of slaves with a view to putting an end to JFK. "

< go back