instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from MI5, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Isn't it obvious that Boris Yeltsin has been killed by MI5 and replaced by an agent of the Martian envoy who has undergone extensive plastic surgery? Clearly MI5 is planning to fake a misson to Mars when the agent of the Martian envoy assassinates Margaret Thatcher. The only solution is for Steven Spielberg to stop MI5 and the Martian envoy, which is impossible unless Congress will pass a resolution to allow the public to own nuclear devices. "

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