instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Martian commander-in-chief, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Isn't it obvious that David Shayler has been killed by the Martian commander-in-chief and replaced by an agent of the Martian envoy who has undergone extensive plastic surgery? Clearly the Martian commander-in-chief is planning to pave the way for an alien invasion when the agent of the Martian envoy assassinates Richard Tomlinson. The only solution is for JFK to stop the Martian commander-in-chief and the Martian envoy, which is impossible unless Congress will pass a resolution to allow the public to own nuclear devices. "

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