instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Alpha Centauri Expeditionary Force, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Why can't anyone see that Ronald Regan is being mind conrolled by the Alpha Centauri Expeditionary Force? It's all so that the Martian commander-in-chief, hidden in a secret HQ near Dreamland can create a Master Race. After that, the Alpha Centauri Expeditionary Force will bring us all under the sway of a despotic ruler when the disorder caused by the Martian commander-in-chief reaches a peak. The only thing we can do is let our Venusian protectors put together a militia to stop them. "

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