instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from MI5, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Obviously MI5 is carrying out a covert war against the armies of Monica Lewinsky in the Everglades. Very soon Bill Clinton, who is currently only supplying weapons to MI5, will join in. Marilyn Manson has a number of nuclear devices hidden in Area 51 which Bill Clinton is trying to steal to help win the war and bring us all under the sway of an alien supermind. We must help the Dalai Llama to stop them, or we are all doomed! "

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