instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Venusian ambassador, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The FBI informant in my basement is telling me that the Venusian ambassador is attempting to establish a global oil cartel while Ian Paisley is being persecuted by Tony Blair to draw attention away from the vile plans of the Venusian ambassador. "

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